Love and desire outside the lines of the monogamy model are demonized and attacked on every front in this society—in the lives of women, at least, and those men who don’t want to be monogamous but also despise the superficiality and sexist bullshit of the “player” scene are unlikely to find support in feminist circles, either. Sex should not be contained, and it should not be made symbolic of anything—it should simply be another way for people to be physically affectionate with each other, to give each other pleasure, to be intimate and emotionally expressive, taking equal responsibility for their involvement but without having to answer to some hypercritical mass, social expectation, or moral taboo.
Love, the strongest and deepest element in all life, the harbinger of hope, of joy, of ecstasy; love, the defier of all laws, of all conventions; love, the freest, the most powerful molder of human destiny; how can such an all-compelling force be synonymous with that poor little State-and Church begotten weed, marriage?
Her decision not to remarry makes her part of the fastest-growing subset of cohabiting couples in the U.S. nowadays — those over the age of 50. The generation that most wanted marriage has become the generation that scoffs. Most of their reasons are practical — remarriage can mean, for example, adjusting or possibly losing some Social Security benefits and risking a life’s savings to pay a new spouse’s medical bills. It means entangling finances that adult children will, sooner or later, have to untangle. Some of their reasons are more personal — memories of a bad first marriage, perhaps, loyalty to a good one or a reluctance to give up newfound independence.